Be Who You Want To Attract

Blog Category: FAQs


By: Denise Lescano, Psychic Medium

Copyright Denise Lescano, 2008

One of the most common reasons that a person will call a psychic is to ask “when or if they are going to meet that right person?” This is one of the most frequently asked questions coming from clients who call me for a “psychic” type of reading about their life, and their future. First of all, let’s be clear, no psychic can see the “outcomes” of your future path 100%. If they tell you they can they are not telling you the truth, or they simply do not understand how their own abilities really work. As we look in to the future, what we see are the opportunities & obstacles, and the different pathways and doorways available to you as you move in to your future. The reason we cannot see the outcomes 100%, is the fact that you, and all the other participants in your life, have “free will” and can change everything in an instant. There is always a wild card, an unpredictable element. You are writing your future every moment of every day of your life through your thoughts, feelings and actions. Through your thoughts, which are energy that you are constantly projecting, you communicate to the universe (or god, or your higher self) and initiate future possibilities. This is an example of the Law of Attraction; popularized in Rhonda Byrne’s film, The Secret¬© (and in the book by the same title).

Now many people have a real misunderstanding of “The Secret” or “The Law of Attraction” and what it means. They will tell me “oh, that just means the power of positive thinking?” NO!!! The Law of Attraction is NOT the power of positive thinking. It can also be the power of negative thinking…it is really the “power of your thoughts, intentions, energy and strongly held assumptions and beliefs.” It is important to understand this, because it is the fundamental principle to what I am about to explain to you next in the realm of relationships.

Most people believe that happiness in the world of romantic relationships is all about “finding the right person.” Many people believe there is only “one” or “the right person” for them, which is simply not the case. There may actually be several different possibilities of the right person in a lifetime. First off, “finding the right person” is only one piece of the puzzle or one element of the equation to having a happy and fulfilling love relationship. I see it as one third of the pie.

The second piece of the pie and the most important piece is “being the right person.” This is what I mean when I say, “be who you want to attract.” If you want to attract a positive, open, honest, healthy and trustworthy person, then from the depths of your very being, on every level (mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical) strive your hardest to be all of those things that you want to attract in another… your self. Then and only then, will you attract that person. Relationships are like magnets in that way. If you are a negative thinker, a critical person, then you will find yourself attracting others who will reinforce your negative belief system. Here is an example: If you have a problem with some addiction, or you have a problem with codependency and cannot be happy alone and need to be validated by another, or have a strong fear about being on your own…you will likely attract some one else either with an addiction problem or similar codependency problem, etc. Another example: If you are a woman who thinks all men are dogs (sorry guys) then you will certainly continue to attract more men who are dogs to reinforce your belief about men. And if you serendipitously happen to bump in to a great guy…you will probably send him running in the opposite direction with the defensive energy you are projecting. It is a simple case of give what you want to receive, project the energy of what you want to attract in another, and you will see some wonderful results. If you have trust issues, balance issues, unhealed emotional wounds, then find the help and resources that you need to deal with those issues and work on getting yourself to a place of health and balance. Wounded people only attract other wounded people, and in most cases, neither one has any idea on how to have a healthy relationship, because neither is healthy or healed. Someone else is never going to fix you, or fix your life…you have to fix you and your life. To look for another to fix what is wrong with you or your life, never ever works and is only a way we distract ourselves from with dealing with what are really our own issues to work on.

All relationships are always mirrors reflecting back to us different aspects of ourselves, helping us to see what we cannot see on our own. Sometimes they reflect back to us a beautiful image and sometimes an ugly image….if you don’t like what you see in your partner (mirror), then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself what aspect of me is this person reflecting back to me? If you are willing to do this, without ego and denial getting in the way (which is very hard sometimes) then you may bring to light a dysfunctional or negative pattern that exists in your relationships. Once you see the pattern you have taken your first step to becoming free of it, by consciously acknowledging it. The next step would be accepting responsibility for your part in the pattern…but that will have to be in another blog!

Lastly, and the Third piece of the pie; after being the right person, so that you have attracted the right person….you have to have the right timing. It is very true whoever first said that timing is everything! This is quite frankly why a lot of relationships with a strong potential to be “the relationship” sometimes fail. It is also the most difficult aspect of the equation to deal with, because ultimately we many times have absolutely no control over the timing. Timing simply means that two people set out on a journey of life, from two separate locations, and try to plan and meet at the same place at the same time. If only it were as easy and logical as those problems we used to do in school with the two trains approaching from different directions and speeds! (Personally, I never could do those math problems!) It is not an easy task and does not always happen. You may have come all this way on your journey, to be excited that you have finally found “the right person” but that other person is not ready to “be the right person” at the time that you have met him or her.

So take heart, all relationships are of benefit to the growth of our soul; they all contain lessons which we are here to learn. No relationship is a mistake if you have learned something…and move on. Just because a relationship does not work out, it does not mean you have walked the wrong path with the wrong person…it just may be that the timing was just not right. We all learn at different speeds.

Remember…”BE who and what you want to attract!”

Keep the faith!

With light and many blessings

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